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It had all seemed so much fun and magical.Today, well - it just wasn't the same any more and it would never be the same again since Katie had died from a fatal dose of meningitis six years ago. She had only been nine at the time, just two years older than Matthew and four years older than Samuel, and Clare still missed her dreadfully.She thought back to when she first married Thomas. She had come from a family of all boys, having three brothers, and had never had the sister she had so wanted to share her childhood with. She knew that she wanted children as soon as possible and had been thrilled when just two years after their marriage, she had given birth to a baby girl - her daughter Katie. Of course she had adored their two sons, but she still craved for the feminine companionship that Katie had given her and she sometimes felt very alone. They had never wanted to try for another baby since her death, she would have felt that, somehow, they might have been trying to replace Katie. Although I have since learned from my experience, there is a little bit of a bitch waiting to get out in each woman.I used to think of myself as avuncular and jocular. I played sports at school and college. Whilst I wasn’t the first name on the team sheet, most seasons I played each game or a part of it. However, I did have a secret – I was gay. This was not a thing you admitted if you wanted to keep playing sports. One also didn’t talk about it at home in that repressed environment. On top of that, my little sister thought she was a Disney Princess. She is now thirty-two years old, haughty, and still thinks she is a Disney Princess.After college came marriage and kids. In truth, my life was a loveless sham. Sex was nowhere. How could I have sex with a body I didn’t love? A question I have always pondered was, “Did I ever truly love my wife?” I guess I did in some ways, just not the right ways for the wife.We argued about money, of course, and the kids, who I adore, even if the.
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