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I can’t stand people who go peroxide-blonde and get a tummy-tuck and a breast augmentation, thinking because they changed the outside their ugliness inside is hidden. Just be yourself, that’s all you have to do.’ ‘Very poetic answer,’ she responded. ‘My so-called boyfriend was always after me to diet and work out. He also said my tits were too small and my ass was too big.’ ‘I ask again,’ I replied, ‘why didn’t you kick this moron to the curb long ago?’ ‘I should have,’ Julie grinned. ‘I’ll take that bath now.’ About 30 minutes after Julie had entered the bathtub, I strolled in with a brush and some soap. ‘Want me to scrub your back, Julie?’ I asked. Her jaw dropped about a foot. ‘I don’t believe this, Mike,’ she said. ‘You’re a gift from God. The LAST thing I would have expected was for you to offer to do that. I can’t reach my back myself, and was wondering how I was going to wash it. Any other surprises you have for me?’ ‘That depends,’ I replied, ‘on whether you’re surprised by a. ’ I didn’t look away. ‘Guess so.’ The bartender put a glass down on the bar top. ‘Here’s a free one, friend. Please, drink it over there.’ He watched until the man had walked far enough away and then wiped down the bar. ‘What’ll it be?’ ‘Rum and Coke, please.’ He reached under the bar and brought out the good stuff. ‘Here’s one on the house.’ ‘Of all the people here,’ I said, ‘the one I really want to see is the principal. He had straightened me out one long weekend and convinced me to stop wasting my life. He was the only person that gave me the push to succeed and my grades rose high enough that I got a scholarship to college based on his recommendation. He had been the one I confided in when my marriage ended and my life went to hell and he had kept me from becoming a losing drunk. I owe him my life and can’t wait to introduce you to him.’ ‘Jim Martin? Is that you?’ No matter how old we become, our voices still tend to be the same. I turned around to meet a man I probably hadn’t.
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