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There for a while, I thought I couldnt even raise my own daughter. But once I had her back in my arms, something in me clicked. I was able to push past the depression and tragicness of the death of my wife, and managed to get back on my feet. I got a new, better job; one where I can work from home. I payed my bills on time, got her into a nice new school, and even had enough extra money to get us nice clothes and toys for her, and I was even able to take her to Chucky Cheese's for her birthday. Life seemed to be taking a step in the right direction. But the suffering wasnt over. I remember that afternoon so clearly. I went to her school at 1:15 like always, happy to pick her up on a marvulous Friday. I didnt tell her yet, but I decided to take her with my pay raise to go see her role model Elmo in a live concert. I waved as I saw her run out of the school gates. Wow, I thought, she is really excited to get out today. But when I looked closer, I nearly was about to cry out in anger.. Apparently I knew all about it, and agreed wholeheartedly. Clare however, saw this as the lock to the prison I had sentenced her to. Her diary explained in great detail the shock of waking up without a penis, and how the significance of this event had taken many years to fully surface. Of course, it was all total shit. To me, the scale and detail of my sisters 'fantasy' was terrifying. She really, really believed it, and from then on I resolved to treat my sister's obsession with a little more care. I wanted to show the diary to Mom, but I knew that I'd be in trouble for being in her room, and I really didn't want Clare to know I'd seen it. Anyway, the final entry was a 'shocking realisation', as she put it. Clare had taken it upon herself to believe that our Mom and Dad were putting female hormones in her food, because she was unable to make any herself. As a consequence, she'd resolved never to eat at home again. This obviously worried me: I was concerned that she was.
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