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‘Now, what’s this complaint, young lady. What have I done wrong now?’‘I’m surprised you don’t know. You keep slapping my behind. That’s what’s wrong.’He studied her for a moment or two. ‘It’s a compliment, Lou. I thought you enjoyed it.’‘Bullshit!’ she exploded. ‘I’ve told you on more than one occasion to stop.’He looked a little crestfallen, took another drink and sighed deeply.‘You’re right, lass. It’s wrong, as you say, but it’s the only sexual pleasure I get these days. I never meant to upset you, but if you’ve taken the trouble to come this evening, I know I must have.’Lou took a sip of her beer and calmed a little at hearing his apology. She shrugged.‘It won’t happen again. I promise.’‘What do you mean when you said sexual? How can you slapping my backside be sexual?’Lou realised she was aroused even asking the question and took a large gulp of beer to steady herself.It was Ted’s turn to shrug.‘I can’t explain it, lass. I just know it gives me a thrill in my groin. Once upon a. ”“It’s not just that. It’s the whole ‘Tasha worship’ thing. I’m sure she’s still guarding her cherry like it was gold in Fort Knox; and even if she wasn’t, you could never do it with her!”“Right,” I spat, “because if we married, we’d never have sex.”“If you were going to ask her to marry you, you would have. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’d have done what the stupid bitch in Columbus suggested we’d done before you’d have sex with Tasha! Perfect Tasha! Beautiful Tasha! Russian Tasha! Pure, Virginal Tasha!”“Don’t be disgusting, Liz!”“Did I say you wanted to do that? No! I used it as a comparison. Think about it, Mikey! You’d have fucked April. You DID fuck Emmy and Mindy. But you wouldn’t even THINK about fucking Tasha! You won’t admit it, but I bet I can prove it!”“Oh?”“You don’t want to hear what I’m going to say because I’m your sister.”“Just say it.”“It’s a question. And a simple one. Before you started getting laid regularly, who did you think about when you jacked.
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