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"The school had scheduled our photographs for late September. Both Emilyand I had forgotten about that. Switching the labels on Emily's reportcard was going to be easy enough and she was getting good enough gradesthat Mom wasn't going to have to have a parent/teacher conference, butonce the school pictures came out, I knew that she was going to want tosee them. She had an album with all of our past school pictures in it andshe wasn't going to let this year go by. Emily kept hoping that I'd comeup with a plan to fake the photos, but time was running out and they'dcome in the mail right around Thanksgiving.Sure enough, the pictures came and Mom got them just a week before theholiday. We might have been able to pass it off by telling her that thenegatives must have been printed backwards so that it looked like Bobbywas wearing a blouse instead of a shirt because of the way it buttoned,but she'd forgotten that she was wearing a headband that day. Actually, itlooked kind of nice with the. .. PANTIES...I'M...WEARING... COST... OVER ... SEVENTY ... DOLLARS." If anyone had been within fifty yards of us they would have heard her. "No way! That's nuts," I said, then turned and started towards Kevin's."THEY DO!" she yelled at my back as she started after me. I turned and waited."Really?" Yes." But how can they afford you? How'll they ever be able to afford twenty thousand for me?" Do you know how much your father makes as a lawyer every year?" I did but wasn't going to tell her. "Or what mom makes as a University Professor? Do you know what Dad pays for one of his suits?" "Two, three hundred?" Twelve hundred minimum. And he has over twenty. And he has ten pairs of dress shoes.And they're worth at least two hundred each." Ash was on a roll again. "Do you know what silk ties cost?" But still, you wouldn't spend all that money for a guy going to college would you?" "Do you honestly believe your parents want you to be wandering around Princeton, New Jersey, dressed like a bum.
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