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I know that was ridiculously stupid. The shame you feel after hurting yourself to cope is difficult to deal with and I’ll be honest and say that the shame sometimes made me feel so bad that I actually harmed myself twice in the space of a few minutes. The term vicious cycle has been used to describe self-harm. I completely agree. It’s exactly the right term to use. You feel bad, you cut. You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to explain and incredibly difficult for people to comprehend but hurting yourself is very addictive. I have no idea why but that’s the only word that I can find to at least try to explain. People often mistake is as a suicide attempt but that’s just because the most common place to cut is arms. It’s not about dying, it really isn’t. It can be a cry for help but for most it’s to help cope with emotional pain. It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be. "IP72496" I said aloud, to myself. Was the writer referring to an IP address? I clicked it.My Netscape browser opened the new page, and upon doing so, revealed the would-be story. The text that came up was NOT readable. What was contained was blocks of unrecognizable characters, and squigglies that could only be pasted from MS's Character Map program. I stared in amazement. What was this?Was Tiger playing a joke on me? Was this their way of testing the new editors? Before I could finish examining the would-be story, I could hear the CPU fan in my tower increase in speed.Startled, I listened to it, whirring faster and faster inside my computer. The gentle hum it usually produced had now been replaced by a buzzing that was at least 3 times as loud. I hit the 'delete' button on the page, hoping to destroy whatever virus I'd just infected myself with, but instead, the screen began to flicker.My optical mouse, which normally would emit a small red light from the laser, was now glowing.
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