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First of all, did you notice the cord on the vibrator? You know, the thing your girlfriend was trying to plug into the cigarette lighter? You see, this particular vibrator doesn't use batteries which you and your girlfriend would have known had either of you bothered to read the instructions! So that one's on you two. Just remember this Jay. I'm Santa. I know where everyone lives, including you. Next Christmas, instead of presents, I might just burn your house down. Suck on that one!P. S. Mother Fucker!Whoa! Santa had a little relapse there. It's a good thing I didn't invite Jay to the show. Good thing for him. So anyway, our next letter is from Steve in Texas.Dear Santa, you brought me a DVD called The Red Hot Hotties which I was really enjoying and then just when the scene was getting really hot, the picture froze. I tried to fast forward, skip, stop and restart, none of which worked. I even tried cleaning the surface of the disk which also didn't work. It just kept freezing at the. "It's not easy!" Shasa's muffled voice came from the closed bathroom door.Benni didn't try to reply and, instead, pasted a goofy grin of childish delight on his face.Ceema walked over to the bed and sat down on the corner by Benni's feet, unconcerned by his nudity. They waited in companionable silence for Shasa to emerge from the bathroom, which she did moments later. She was naked as well. When Shasa bent down to pick up Benni's clothes and throw them in them in the hamper, Benni gazed again at the healing strip of skin melt over her left kidney. A brief grimace played across his face as he realized again just how close he had come to losing her. The new kidney had cost a bucketful of slugs that day."So how is the new wife?" Ceema asked.Shasa gave her a full throated growl with teeth showing. Ceema held up both of her arms in a gesture of peace along with a request for "safe-be" just in case."She hates that word," Benni said."Benni is my heart-friend and we're fuck bunnies. That says.
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