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? ?How much do you think I could enjoy it when I know that you didn’t?? ?It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it. Like I said, I was just tired.? ?Lots of things seem to be becoming more and more tired these days. And not just in bed.? He was suddenly more wary. ?What do you mean by that?? ?Oh Ryan, it’s just that I’m afraid that things are getting tired between us. Getting stale. That we need something new and exciting to wake us up. Like we used to be.? ?I’m not quite sure that I know what you mean, Jules.? That he didn’t outright try to contradict or argue against her basic premise spoke volumes, and gave her the needed strength to continue with her plan. ?I’m not sure that I understand it all either, but I just sense that we need a change, something to get us going again, before we move too far apart and can’t hold on.? ?Don’t you think you’re overstating things a bit.? ?No I don’t, Ryan, I really don’t. “Did you?”“Yes.”I went through in front of the cart and checked out, then dropped my single bag into her cart as we unloaded her things from it. Then she did her thing, and it became clear she had food stamps or whatever -- and that it was an embarrassment to her. I ignored it. We went out through the door and she got hesitant in the parking lot. I gave her a vague wave; she pushed the cart to her car and popped the trunk, and I helped her shift the load -- including my things.At that point, the trunk still open, she turned to me, picking her fingers. “What are we doing?”“I don’t know,” I replied. “I just couldn’t stand seeing that look on your face.”“What look?”“That look.” It was back, that look -- one of fear and loneliness and a little righteous anger at the world for being so cold and unfeeling -- and the anticipation of an uncertain but unhappy future. I stepped in and wrapped my arms around her; she hugged herself close and stuck her head in my armpit -- and we stood there like.
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