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“Grr! Cucumbers!”“What?” P90 snarled, rubbing her head. Then, quickly. “I wasn’t doing anything!”I cocked my head. “I ... didn’t say you were?” I asked.P90 flushed, then thrust her green goop splattered hand under the faucet. Water sluiced her hand clean and she shook her head. I frowned and slowly narrowed my eyes, willing myself to go into Batman style detective vision. Unfortunately, I wasn’t actually a detective. So, instead, I just had to ask: “Uh, why were you holding a cucumber, Pee?” I paused. “Okay, that is a terrible nickname. Should I just stick to P90?”She sighed. “Yes. And I was...” She paused. “Looking for ... a ... candy. Snack. For. Uh. Maintenance.” She nodded, slightly.“Wow, and I thought I was a bad lieman,” I said, shaking my head slightly.P90 sighed. She turned to face me, holding a washcloth. She rubbed it along her forearm, drying the last bits of water that had skidded along her muscular, pink arm. She looked right at me, frowning. “I couldn’t just stand. The poorly clad peasant-soldiers had barely come into view when it was time to attack. Someday the world might come to understand that I didn’t believe in fighting battles like a gentleman, waiting for my enemy to form their ranks up before I attacked.My first experience with conflict and the death war brings taught me four harsh lessons that still caused tightness in my chest when I thought about the bodies of my father, the Earl, his wife, and the Earl’s beautiful daughter.War is not a gentleman’s game, played by chivalrous rules. The only applicable rule in war is kill or be killed. My father and the troops he commanded had been trained for a “gentleman’s war” and were dead because of it. Anyone who insists that war be played by civilized rules is an idiot--and will probably be a dead or conquered idiot because of it. “Civilized” and “war” go together like “breathing” and “underwater.”From analyzing the bandits’ attack, had I realized the advantage of stealth and ambush, enabling.
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