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Kapner was distressingly anti-climactic. Even the condescending attitude that I had feared would have been better than the bland, bored indifference with which he examined me. After the most cursory of interviews, he sighed, wrote out orders for a battery of lab tests and sent me on my merry way.Total time elapsed in his august presence: ten minutes.Total out-of-pocket expense: $200.00.Thanks for nothing, Blue Cross.---My (still solitary) companion greeted me as I came back out to the reception area. "Forget something?" Yeah - I forgot how much I hate doctors." Believe me, after six months of sitting around this dump, you'll never forget again," she said, crossing her eyes for effect.As I opened the door to leave, Emily's mother returned from her nicotine fix. I held the door for her (one of the few stereotypical male indulgences I still enjoy) and bade farewell to my temporary companion."'Bye, Emily. Good luck!"I knew what was coming."'Bye, Amy!"I could feel her mother staring as. " A small moan escaped her lips as she readied for her punishment. I stepped back to admire my handiwork. "What a beautiful site," I thought, "The only thing that could be improved would be to add some color." And that is just what I intended. She strained to hear what I was doing behind her. What I was doing was taking a picture with my phone. I sent one to my Aunt Pat with the caption, "Wish you were here" along with the address. The second was to Mr. Jones along with the caption, "Naughty wife - how many?" "25 - leather belt in top left drawer. Send pix" came the response from Mr. Jones. Wondering what was taking so long she finally couldn't stand it any longer and looked back. She whimpered when she saw me staring at her. She knew she fucked up. "That will double the punishment Mr. Jones suggested, my dear. I really don't think you will be sitting down for quite some time." I walked around to the front of the desk and took out the thick leather belt from the drawer. "You may.
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