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“HEY! Who the Hell is in my God-damned kitchen? And why the Hell did you let me sleep in and miss work?” he shouted.He was greeted by the sight of a curly-haired blonde woman wearing a pink pajama bottom and one of his old t-shirts working his stove with the efficiency of a line chef at a fancy restaurant. While her bacon was frying, she was preparing scrambled eggs in one hand and popping bread into Mike’s toaster with the other. Mike took a few seconds to acknowledge how good this woman looked from behind.“I’m in your God-damned kitchen and today is Saturday, so you don’t have work to miss, Genius!” laughed the mystery woman as she kept cooking. “Now, make yourself useful and set the table for two, Mikey!”At the word “Mikey,” he realized that his mystery guest was none other than his oldest friend, Stephanie Taylor. She was the only one he let call him "Mikey". He had been best friends with Stephanie since the day they were born. Well, since the day he was born. Stephanie was. Listening to those two can affect folks. So go ahead and finish. Here let me get you some tissues.” I rolled over and pulled a few tissues from the box on the nightstand and handed them to him. He took them and stared at me like I was doing something weird.Then it hit me, and I started to giggle. “I am sorry, Brad, I’m still half asleep. I used to get the tissues for your father when he would masturbate. I guess old habits die hard. So go ahead and do it. I won’t watch if you don’t want me to.”“Oh my god Mom, it’s bad enough that you caught me doing it. Now you’re telling me to keep doing it, and you would watch if I let you.”In an embarrassed whisper, I said, “Oops, sorry, another slip of the tongue. I watched your father, so that kind of just came out.”The noise from the next room got louder and then just stopped.Still keeping my voice low, I smiled at Brad and said, “I guess they’re done.”Brad chuckled and whispered, “I guess so. I think I better go to the bathroom and take care.
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