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The problem is those men make lousy husbands and fathers. So every woman also wants a man who can raise a family and provide for them. A beta male. Most women think that in order to have a good husband she must give up her dreams about the exciting alpha male and settle for one who will be a good husband.”“But you see, I believe that a woman who looks like me really can have both. Now it’s obvious that you’re not my alpha male. Actually I’ve already got one of those. Actually more than one. But you could be perfect as my other man. My husband.”“She must have seen the look of shock on my face. “Now before you get all hurt and go running out of here, think hard about this. You’re a really nice guy and you’re smart but we both know you’ve never had a girlfriend, and your chances of ever getting one are nil. You’re a lonely guy who sits at home and masturbates, right? I’m offering you a chance to have the wife and family you have always dreamed of. There won’t be any sex involved (well. The girls were jumping up and down will infectious glee. ‘See what Santa got us? See what Santa got us?’ they both squealed, it was hard not to get caught up in the excitement as they showed me their new crib and high chair filled with toys. It was at that moment I knew I had been indirectly promoted to Santa and suddenly I felt so much older than eleven years old. I knew my next comments would be critical to the two little girls’ belief in Christmas. ‘Oh, Linda, how beautiful,’ I said as my hand ran across the shinny wood for the very last time. ‘Santa must think you’re pretty special to bring you all of this.’ Linda’s little face beamed as she showed my a few more small gifts she and her sister received. I wondered why my mother didn’t prepare me for the role I was to play in their Christmas. ‘What is Santa bring you, Carol?’ said Linda. I though of my beautiful vanity with its circular mirror and fancy chintz covered chair and the mountain of other lovely gifts that came from my.
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