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I'd heard rumours that she'd been a bit loose before we were married. Iremember one of my mates down at the pub on my buck's night talking toanother bloke, not knowing that I could hear what they were saying."I'm surprised Mick's marrying Cynthia. She's had more pricks in herthan a second-hand dart board," he scoffed."Fuck! I remember way back in Infants School; she'd show you her knickersfor a bite of your toffee apple," the other responded, laughing wickedly."My Uncle Stan reckons they'll bury her in a Y-shaped coffin!"They both broke into peals of laughter and then one of them saw me anddigged the other in the ribs and the laughing stopped.Call me na?ve, call me stupid, anyway I married her. I lost my virginityon my wedding night; well sort of.I'd always had a fetish for nylon stockings, tights and silk and satinknickers. I started wearing my mom's and sister's knickers and hosieryback when I was ten or twelve; I had quite a collection and I'd wear themto bed feeling wonderful. They are too high."He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK."So Jean decided give it a try.She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot, the yard dog, a double handful.Ol' Spot ate every bite.All morning long, Jean watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.The meal was a great success, and Jean even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve.After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes.About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Jean's ear; "Mrs. Williams, I Think Ol' Spot is dead."Jean went into hysterics.After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.The doctor said, "That's bad, but.
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