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“So tell me,” he said around a mouthful of food. “I’m dying to find out what happened.” “I borrowed Winter Maiden’s dog, White Fawn wanted to know if it would lick her, I told her to find out, but the dog stopped. I... finished her.” “Why?” “To make her feel good,” Silver Quail was exasperated. “No, why do we have the dog?” “Oh, I had a problem,” she waved it off. “Oh, don’t tell me it’s THAT again,” he growled. “Don’t worry, it’s all fixed. We can still do it. But you have to wash before we do, every time,” she said, pointing a finger at his face. He grabbed the finger and pulled her forward. He nuzzled her ear, then placed her hand on his penis beneath the loincloth. He ate while she massaged his manhood to extreme hardness. When he was done he tossed the dish aside and pulled her forward. “You are the most beautiful women in this camp,” he said, sniffing her hair as he rubbed her. I don’t know why they don’t invite me, though? They must know I’ve got a shed load of wine sitting waiting to be uncorked. Anyway, two of my presents looked promising. Gail brought me what looked like Colin Farrell, gift-wrapped. It wasn’t. It was a self-help book on flirting. Me: Err, thanks. Gail: You’ve been single long enough. Me: It’s not for the want of trying. Gail: I’ve seen you trying. Trust me, you need this book. Gail’s older than me. She’s already had the big four-0, owns her own flat, has never lived with anyone and has a cat. But last month she met Aiden. Until Aiden came along single was sexy and anyone who needed a man, needed a life. Now it’s just me. But while she epitomised the Bridget Jones’s, I was always sadly lacking. And it wasn’t just a book. Gail: You have thirty-six days to rebuild your life. I’m challenging you to lead a better life from now on. I smiled. I have a hotmail hot male she knows nothing about. Challenge, what challenge? My last present was.
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