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I was exhausted when I arrived home from the theatre opening last night. I should have slept soundly, but the confusion rolling around in my head was preventing that. Two nights of little sleep would not help me cope with what was to come. Perhaps I could nap sometime during the day before Howard got home.I wasn't very effective last night at the opening. I wasn't concentrating very well. I met all the people I planned to meet, but I couldn't seem to get any meaningful conversations started. Perhaps some rest before my talk with Howard would help settle my mind.As I lay in bed that morning, I thought about what I must do. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told. "Miss Stevens chuckled softly, and I blushed fiercer. She was definitelyhaving fun - and at my expense."My point, Josh, is much the same as from yesterday. You liked it when Isaid red was associated with courage and strength, because you likedthinking that meant you were courageous and strong - but you're not. Youlike thinking white means pure because that makes you think you're pure -but you're not. You need to break through these visions of yourself thatyou have, and start looking at who you actually are, okay?" Right, so... white isn't associated with the word pure, then?" I asked,my mind addled."That's not the point of the exercise, Josh," Miss Stevens smiledsympathetically - though from my point of view it seemed patronising."What we're doing is learning how you think, and trying to use thatknowledge to help you learn what you should think instead. Your nextword, please."Over the next few minutes I came up with milk, cleanliness, snow, andwedding dresses. Doubtless it told Miss.
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