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Someone once said she offered weekend burro trips through it, but that was a vicious rumor. It was actually a Shetland pony.The last I heard, she graduated somehow and went to Arizona State U., a school with the largest number of underage alcoholics in the northern hemisphere. It was 10 AM and my Red Devil Pizza thermometer was already registering 116. It is said this weather is Satan's revenge for AZ native Alice Cooper being born again. My theory is it's God's revenge for Wayne Newton having lived here. But it does explain our state moto, "Arizona... we wear flip flops year-round. Can you?" It's also home to the most venomous snakes, spiders and reptiles west of Baltimore. Not to mention the horrifyingly painful jumping cactus.Turning to my former classmate, "What have you been up to, Candy?" Well, I was a temp in Tempe. Then I made flags in Flagstaff, but I'd prefer not to talk about my year in Bumfuck, Egypt. It's literally too painful. Do you mind if I browse your... classy. So I sat at the kitchen table to do my homework when I heard someone knocking on the front door. I went to answer is and upon opening it up what do I see, Tommy.Tommy came in quickly and closed the door and I knew he didn’t want anyone seeing him come in. And I’m sure that meant he didn’t want any of his friends to know that he was here. We stood there for a minute or so and I finally grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs to my bedroom. We looked at each other and I began undressing and noticing this he did also.We laid on the bed looking at each other and I couldn’t help myself so I asked him if he knew what exactly happed the last time we were together. He continued staring at me and finally said yes and he began explaining it to me. It was my first lesson on sex. He asked if I knew how babies were made to which I said no, not really.He told me that when a man and woman decided to have a baby they had sex. I raised my eyebrow signally to him that what he was telling me was.
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