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She wanted me to stay on Active Duty or get a job in town. I thought I had convinced her what I had done was right for me, for us. Shortly after we came back home Susan got pregnant with Jessica. Then a year later, Alex came along. We were living the American Dream I thought.Then along came the second Iraq war. My unit was called up. By now I was a Captain and company commander of a combat engineer company. I loved my job and my men and was proud to go. Susan tore at my heart though as she begged me to try and get out of going. I remember the last night home as she clung to me and cried herself to sleep. She just couldn't understand this was the price of freedom and that this was part of what I was, as much my job as Farming or anything else I might have chosen to do. I was a citizen soldier and a farmer. All she saw was how my going would impact her and the children. She complained I was abandoning them. I was in anguish but I had no choice.I knew Susan was hurt and sad but I just. "Mr. _______?"I looked around for the person that had called me. "Nina?" Yes sir," came that thrilling voice.I looked around and saw that she was sitting in the hallway, where she had a good view of my office door. I gathered myself together and collected my thoughts. I knew I had to play it really cool. "I thought we'd discussed the fact that we weren't going to see each other... I'm sorry, Nina, but there's nothing more I can do for you." I know, sir" then a long pause. A look down at the floor. Then, very quietly, "but what if I've changed my mind?" About what we talked about last night?"Again, very quietly, "yes sir."She was still looking down at the floor, so I took the opportunity to look around to make sure we were alone. It was Friday evening. All the office lights were off, and the hall lights were on dim, and there was no one to be seen anywhere."You're going to accept my every word as your command. You will do as I tell you to do. You won't complain or cry or try to get out.
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