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"I quit talking and let the bold fact that I loved men and that I loved being with men sexually and intimately sink in before I said anything else. I turned and looked towards my father, while I'd been looking straight ahead when I'd first told him my news. I could see that my news to my father had come "out of the blue" but that's what "coming out" is usually like for most people who know us, isn't it?"OK, Chad," my father said, "I wasn't quite expecting this but I'm OK with it. I've been prepared for years to hear this from one of my children, but I didn't quite figure it would be you," he said."Yeah, Dad, I'm your gay son," I said and I felt much better now that I'd shared the truth about my secret life with my father."Chad, we'll talk about all this later if you want," my father said as I could tell that my revelation to him was taking some time to sink in."I'd rather talk now while we're riding, Dad, if you don't mind," I said. So, my father and I talked candidly and he seemed to. Wearranged to meet up a few days later. A date she missed. Two weeks later she rang again, seeming more... away, than before. Wemet up that night and caught up to date. She was gruffer and withdrawn.Talking was more one sided... I had to carry it. Most unusual. We bounced calls back and forth over the next few months. Each oneseeming harder and more talk than listen. She came into the bar I was working in just before closing one night.Took one look at my face and left as I glared my lack of appreciation ather attempted greeting. I needed this job and I did not need everyone'looking' at me. She had been up and bubbly, something I hadn't seen fora while. But one glance had blown that away. It was two weeks ofmessages and grunted one syllable responses before we spoke again.Guilt? Oh hell yes. But I had to live too. This was not easy for anyone,ever.The year dribbled by and became another and stumbled along, month bymonth, as we re-established a pattern of call and talk. Thirty-one.
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