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So I started to wear my mother's clothes and soon began to love girdles and suspender belts and stockings. Best of all was her wedding dress...I saw myself as a bride to a commanding uniformed guy and this remained my ideal for years. I was quite innocent about all this until I reached an age where I began to wonder what was happening to me. I started to read the dictionary definitions. As a result I ran away from it all. forced myself to stop dressing, tried to date girls (disaster). University...had a girlfriend. Wild about one another but never even tried to have sex. A guy seduced me, fucked me and suddenly I thought 'this is who I am!' I had an unusual interest in transvestites and transsexuals, reading every book going but I was in denial and just saw myself as a passive gay guy. I totally repressed any inclination to wear female clothing. I got into the leather scene as a gay man. But always submissive. Submission became my focus. I endured a lot of sessions I really didn't. But then I'd haveto bring up where I'd met Emma, and I didn't want that. "Is it true," she asked, looking up at me. Ergh, what do I say?! Think, think... Got it! "Angel," I said, looking deep into her beautiful eyes, "I'd never just fuck someone that I didn't care about, I don't even like the term 'fuck,' I prefer sex. Sex is about loveand closeness, and if I don't have that with a person, I'd never have sex with them." "Really," she said, part of her not believing me. "You wouldn't like to bend her over,and pound her cunt? Have her slob all over your dick, then cum all over her pretty face?" I was shocked that she talked like that, even if it did turn me on, but then I realised nowprobably wasn't the BEST time to get a hard-on; less she rip off my dick. Now wastime to bring out the big guns... "I thought you knew me better than that. Yes I have desires like ever other guy,but unlike everyother guy, I can control myself. I've been in the damned friend-zone.
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