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She got her confirmation and then did as I suggested and spoke with Father Herman in confession this morning.”“You have NO business advising my daughter on medical procedures! You haven’t even started medical school! And you are certainly NOT her father!”“Father Deacon,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice properly modulated, “we learned about both of those things in health class in eighth grade. I’m sure they were performed by a doctor or nurse. And honestly, if she wasn’t pregnant, then there wouldn’t be such a big issue.”“You think having sexual relations outside of marriage is not a big issue?”“Certainly not as big as being pregnant as an unmarried woman,” I countered calmly.“My daughter’s virtue seems to be of little concern to you, and that greatly concerns me.”“Father Deacon, she’s been to confession and acknowledged her sin. Nothing can undo what’s happened.”“No, but she can marry the father of the baby, and at least get that part right!”“I don’t believe she wants to do. In even smaller letters was the disclaimer that ‘Professor Newton was the sole judge of whether or not he did not know the answer’. Blinded by greed, no-one ever read this disclaimer, and no challenge was ever lodged. This was Grandad’s take on the old snake oil salesman or travelling carnival side show, so obviously a scam that no-one could possibly be taken in by it, unless, and this was what Grandad was counting on, the punters were sucked in by the greed presented by the opportunity to win such a fantastic amount of money, simply by asking me a question that I couldnot possibly answer. We would set up in shopping centre car parks, and I would appear, seated on my ‘Throne of Knowledge’, until the gathered crowds forced the police to move us on. Grandad would commence his pitch. ‘Roll up, roll up ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I have the honour to present to you, direct from his sold out appearances way across the seas, the amazing, the incredible, the miraculous, memory.
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