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I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't care who they are - something that seems mutual to most men nowadays. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't. "You're not upset the two of us are ... well ... you know..." Now I was totally embarrassed."No Paul ... I am pleased as punch. I wondered from time to time if I needed to play Cupid with the two of you. But I see you figured it our on your own."I figured now was the best time to let him know I was taking some time off. "The two of us want to take some time off. We would like to ... uh ... well..." Paul, take all the time off you want. You deserve it. All I ask it that we get some sort of replacement for Sylvie before the two of you disappear. God knows I'll never find another Sylvie ... but help me look."Sylvie had just walked into the office and heard the end of Richard's request. "Help you look for what? What's going on here?" Honey, Richard knows all about us. He said that the whole office knew we were meant for each other ... they were just waiting for us to figure it out." And it sure took you two long enough..."Richard interjected."So what are we looking for?" Sylvie asked.
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