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Despite the strictinjunction to remain quiet, he squealed: "Mummy, I need changing! I'mdirty!"Jane stopped for a moment, frowned and warned him, "That's two sticks forthat outburst, young lady! One more peep and you'll get another three!"The fear of going outside with a smelly mess in his nappy made himpersist, resulting in a sound paddling later that day, and anembarrassing nappy change in the baby-changing facility at Tesco's - anexperience he hoped never to undergo again. Jane had excelled herself byfirst dragging him along by one hand like a naughty child to the helpcounter, where she asked a woman, "Excuse me? My little one has justsoiled her diaper." She tilted her head, indicating the cowering childwhose hand she gripped. "Is it alright to use the baby changing facilityhere to change my dirty big baby?" She made it abundantly clear he wasthe one who'd had a messy accident and was desperately in need of a freshnappy.The female shop assistants would usually smirk or snigger when. ”“What would you do if every woman here tonight becomes affected by your subliminal music and wants to fuck you?”“I’ll deputize you and let you take care of as many of them as you can ... until I can get around to them.”She was still laughing when suddenly she pointed toward two seats in the middle of the back row. There were couples sitting on either side of the empty seats, and we wedged our way past all the men and women, to sit between two women.The opening credits were playing and I could clearly hear my flute as the soft sounds filled the entire theater.The woman sitting next to me leaned over to whisper to the man beside her – who I learned was her husband by his remark - “I love that flute music. It’s so sensuous and relaxing – even to the point of being hot and sexy.”“You love anything that makes you feel hot and sexy.”“Albert, please just relax and enjoy this movie. Your sister was the one who told us about it.”“She’s as bad as you are. All either of you think about is.
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