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Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?A: No changes occur.Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?A: The vultures aren’t gagging over the skunk.Q: What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?A: Jewelry.Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?A: Their personalities.Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions?A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.A1: How many can you afford?A2: None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.A3: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.A4: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb, then bill you for the privilege.A5: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents and case law, one to dictate a. Don't you have to call your mother?" Actually, he didn't. But the phone call was much easier than admitting to Mrs. Anderson that he didn't.At dinner, Steve's parents complimented Ken on his selection by the U of C. Steve had told them about early selection, the scholarship, and everything. Ken didn't mind telling it again, and they were generous in their praise."Chicago made the only decision it could," Steve said suddenly. "All the suspense was whether they would see you for what you are. What I want to know is what Heather sees in you." Steve!" his mom said."It's all right, Mrs. Anderson," said Ken. "When you find out, Steve, tell me." You aren't as hard to like as you think, Ken," Mrs. Anderson said.This was too close to the comment which had led Ken to embarrassing himself on the earlier visit. He clamped his mouth shut, and the conversation moved away from him.Afterwards, they went off to Steve's room. "You said once that you owed Shannon big time. I figure that the debt has.
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