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She'd sat with her legs apart, stroking herself through her sexy little panties and telling me in explicit detail, exactly what she was going to do to me when we had the house to ourselves."Why don't you and Jenny come too?" her face lit up again briefly."We can't mum." and it fell again. "I can get off work, no problem but Jenny's got her exams coming up, there's no way she could even take them later."Oh well never mind." she smiled and reached up to kiss my cheek. "Maybe next time, he'll take me instead of that, that - - - - -, oh fuck him anyway."I really didn't know what to say, I knew though, how much she'd been looking forward to this holiday. Since dad bought the beach side villa, they'd spent only one holiday there together and mum had loved it, but after his new P.A. arrived he never seemed to be able to find the time to take her there or anywhere else for that matter."I'll go with you mum." I said and she looked at me in shock, then shook her head."Darling that's really. Distancing. But the logical part of me knew he wasn't trying to hurt me. He was trying to protect me ... even from himself. Just as I was making that connection, he was out of the bed and almost to the door."If you can wait an hour or so, I'll make you breakfast."He closed the door gently behind him. I curled up in that big bed alone and missed his warmth next to me. I refused to cry. I was tired of god damned crying. He was right to stop it, but that didn't mean I had to like it.How long had it been since I'd been with a man? Over a year, closer to two. But sleeping with Evan would be one big, fat complication right now.I needed to figure out what I was going to do with this new life, who I was going to be, and how to control this beast inside me that was so ruled by emotion and instinct. Jumping my host just because I was horny and he was available wasn't a terribly smart move.It wasn't like me. I was generally pretty cautious about men, waiting until I was firmly established in a.
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