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He fucking hates Muslims.”My girlfriend told me last Christmas she wanted something surprising and sexy. Turned out she didn’t mean rape.It has been reported that due to the negative impact the slow recovery has had on economies all over the world, this Christmas, Santa Claus will have only two “Ho’s” not three as is the custom.Additionally, it was reported, that if the recovery continues at its current slow rate, in 2018 Santa might have to do with only one, Ho.I asked the wife what she wants for Christmas this year “Some chocolate and a nice surprise would be lovely” she replied. Kinder egg it is then.A DIFFERENT NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS... Twas the night before Christmas, and geez it was neat,The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook,It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude,Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,That. ‘I’m at the firehouse looking for Danny. Duncan’s with me.’ ‘Danny’s with me, and we’re at your house. I’ll trade you one drunken sexual fantasy for my stable, sober boyfriend.’ There was a mighty grunt on the other end and a groan of pain. ‘It’s your own fault! You’re heavy and this is not easy one-handed!’ ‘What?’ Jessie knew that Tessa had not been talking to her and wanted to know what was going on. ‘He hit his head on the arm of your couch — the wooden part. Come home and take care of your drunken slobbering mess.’ The click on the other end was definite. Tessa was obviously not in the mood to be disobeyed. Jessie’s head slightly turned towards Duncan, taking in the sly smile and amusement in his eyes. ‘Was that my wayward girlfriend?’ ‘Yes. Apparently she had to be the designated driver for my very drunken lover.’ She got up from the chair and made her way out of the firehouse. Duncan’s chuckle and final comment, ‘Life is never boring in this place,’ trailed behind her. –~~– A.
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