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Thankfully, Mom often stayed out late to visit with old friends, and I could take that opportunity to relieve myself back in our hut.Mom seemed to cope with the mores of the island with little difficulty. Even when Aldrix came aboard a few times with an erection to deliver his samples, she didn’t even look surprised. She thanked him and gave him instructions on what she wanted him to look for on his next dive, just like she always did.The first time that happened, I looked at her as if to say, what the hell was that? All she did was smile, wink and say, “Cute.”It was Saturday night, and Mom told me there would be a party on the beach, and I should relax and have fun.After the bonfire was lit, the natives laid out food and drinks on tables. Native music was playing in the background. It looked like there were over 250 to 300 people at the party. Mom and I were greeted with friendly smiles and offers of food and drink.Mom explained that this was a bi-weekly event. The women, young and. ‘What about those who can’t?’ he asked even quieter. ‘God will forgive you is you ask, my son. His love for you is unconditional, but you must want it in your heart for it to exist in your heart. As for you forgiving yourself, only time will allow for that to happen. As you said, God is the fundamental for all things. You sound as if you suffer from a broken heart of sorts, as if you have fallen out of favor with yourself. God allows the healing of your heart to take place, but you must chose to let it be healed, not even God can force that on you. What we do in life is all we have of ourselves, and we have to live with our actions. It takes a strong person to make it through all that you have said that you have done. It takes a stronger person still to accept the wrongness of their actions and to want God back into our lives.’ ‘How can I even consider that after everything I’ve done in service of my government? I knew the things I was doing were wrong, but I did them anyway, and I.
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