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She said she had to be strong for them but she was even more wrought then the rest of them not just from his death but from the burden of the rest of them. She was killing herself. She didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, so at the end of the second week He told her He wanted her as a full-time slave. It was a formality really, she’d already been His slave for months and she lived with Him and enjoyed His dominion but He wanted that next step, really He’d wanted to separate her from her family a little, let her have her time to grieve before she killed herself being strong for them. But she recoiled, she’d thrown up her walls and instead of easing into it, taking His time and convincing, He pushed and in doing so pushed her straight out of His life. She’d run and never looked back. He sighed and took a long draught of His beer. He knew how fragile she’d been, known that she needed Him to hold her up but His pigheadedness had gotten in His way. Of course, His way was right, He was. Hold her while she beats herself up. Hold her while she tells herself she is broken. Hold her while she reverts back to that 14-year-old girl on the bus who froze while her boyfriend molested her. So here we are. She is shaking and bawling uncontrollably and I am holding her as tight as I can so she can feel safe as she does. It’s killing me, but she needs this. I hate him. I hate what he did to her. He probably doesn’t even know. As she calms down I loosen my grip. She turns around and squeezes me close. I let out a deep breath as the tears slowly trickle onto my shirt. This hell is coming to an end. I will never let her know how taxing this is for me, even though she does. She’s not stupid. But me not expressing it shows her that it doesn’t matter how hard it is for me, I will hold her, and do so willingly. Thankfully, she has accepted that. She allows me to carry this burden with her. As the tears slow I lean down and pick up her knees. I carry her as I would a child to the.
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