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“Bugger!” I exploded, “An’ I’ve got a fuckin’ job interview later this morning.”Well, it wasn’t really a job, just a Father Christmas in His Grotto gig for three weeks at Walker’s Department Store.“What, you goin’ fer a job, Jack?” Eddie not only sounded interested, more like incredulous.“Not exactly, it’s selection of the new Police Commissioner, what’d’yer think, ya prat?!” Sometimes I wonder how Eddie keeps this job, when I can’t get even one. I wouldn’t trust him to deliver frozen pizzas while they were still cold.He handed over the big plastic envelope with a cheerful “Cheerio” and walked off to his van, walking around it checking he still had all his wheels before driving off with a cheerful wave. Can’t be too careful round here, where I live, the thieving’ buggers are quick an’ quiet when it suits ‘em. I only keep my wheels codes they’ve got locking nuts on ‘em and the tyres are virtually bald as Jean-Luc Picard.I checked the name and address on the package. “To Maurice Alfred. However, he realized it was only a matter of time before the results of this uneven match became evident and he fell victim to the creature's deadly, crushing embrace.His attention turned back to the snake's head. Again and again, he tried to drive the flashing blade into the loathsome eyes of the writhing creature. But again and again, his attempts were in vain, as the ponderous monster twisted and coiled away from the striking tooth of steel. Ponkert held back his want to scream out in agony, as the snake's movements twisted the fangs still held in his bleeding arm.Almost before he realized what had happened, a slithering coil trapped his right leg. He went down to his knees, prepared for the ponderous mass of snake that would soon encompass his body. But before it could lash out with its ensnaring rings of scaled death, Ponkert felt a violent shock transmitted through the snake's mouth. The Earthman's eyes flashed up and saw Elf lifting a huge rock above her head. The rock.
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