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The autumn festival’s today, innit? Go. The farm’ll keep for a day.” He looks at me with soft eyes. “Maybe you’ll meet someone, and I can meet them before I’m gone.”My chest grows tight and I shake my head. “I’m not going to leave you like this to go to a ball.”He gives me a squinty-eyed stare. “You’re going to let an old man die without even trying to fulfill his last wish?”“But—”“I see, I see. No respect for your elders.” He turns his head on the pillow, but I can still see the corner of his smile. “Do you know if the lass you loved ever married?”I feel the floor fall away from beneath me, and I’m grateful that I’m already sitting down. I don’t respond at first, trying to work through the competing thoughts in my head.What would Cliff think if he knew the truth? That it was a man, that it was the king, that I’d slept with him? The weight of my shame and regret is heavy, but the thought of Cliff’s last thoughts of me being ones of disgust and rejection is suffocating.The silence. All that mattered was the end result; tolerance. In my opinion, the colonel's 'litmus' test was a huge success.There would be plenty of men willing to service those strong willed naysayers who relented their morals in need of pent up sexual release. Guys like me, cock lovers, who got off giving more than receiving, or bending over to receive our gratification, all in what may be considered unmanly, they could be used.Claus found me in the swimming pool telling me that the colonel wanted me back upstairs. At least he put the effort into finding me, unlike the night before. My ego was tarnished anyway, the only looks I seemed to get were those quizzical ones wondering how a young boy ended up in their midst. They had no use for whore boys any longer.Zane and the colonel sat against the headboard sharing sips from a vodka bottle. If at all possible, seeing Zane naked, he looked even younger. He looked frail as skinny as he was, his rib cage clearly outlined through his skin. Unblemished.
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