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“Son, your mother came to me and, well, she told me ... she told me to come and talk to you about your penis.” he stuttered, not meeting my eyes.Jesus. Fucking. Christ.“Dad, do me a favor? Go tell mom we had a good talk and you and I will pretend like this never happened.”“Good talk, son!” he said, beating a retreat down the hallway.I spent the week restricted to the house, and forced to do every chore my mother could imagine, even weeding the flower beds despite the gardener’s tear-filled pleas that setting a teen loose among his price begonias was akin to genocide.Mom had not left the topic completely alone, however, and told me on Thursday morning that she would be home at noon. I was to be showered, dressed and read to go when she arrived. She refused to say why, or where we were going, so I had all morning to obsess about it all.Mom had, evidently, been doing some research. I hoped that it was web-based and not asking her paralegals and secretaries, but figured I could just. She flushed bright pink. Lord was this woman shy! ‘Hey, I have almost $10.00, it won’t buy much but would you like to go get something to eat?’ I asked. She blinked at me for what seemed to be quite a long time, then a small smile crossed her lips. ‘I don’t…date.’ ‘I wasn’t asking..I mean…I am just hungry and I thought…’ That flustered me a bit, I wasn’t used to women saying no. After all, I am kind of cute. ‘Oh. Well, I have about $10.00 myself, that should be plenty then. Do you like Tacos?’ Hell, I had been living on tacos. We walked together down the hall, there was a Taco Bell just six blocks away. I opened the door for her, taking the opportunity to check her out more closely. It wasn’t easy to tell but there didn’t seem to be any extra layers of fat, her bust appeared to be about normal, I did notice she had one of those nice round fannies but the clothes she had on were designed to be…well, clothes. None of it was designed to do anything at all other than cover her up. I.
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