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.. yep, it was interesting.Following year her boyfriend was gone and Linda and I started hanging out together... mostly bridge and coffee. One time I shared my woes with her about the girl that I was dating at the time with whom I couldn't get past first base. I remember her saying I had to stop hanging about with younger girls--Linda was older than I by two or three years. Nothing now but a bigger deak then,Anyway, one day over bridge she invited me over to her place for dinner and, of course, I accepted.So there's fumbly young me in the apartment with a modestly attractive older girl having had a decent dinner and not having a clue as to what to do next."Want to play strip gin", she asked?With absolutely no trace of 'cool' I stammered something. After a couple of hands and fewer clothing, she says... "Are you a virgin?"And I nod for I couldn't speak.She smiled and started taking off all her clothes and told me to do the same.I am not well endowed now and certainly wasn't any. "Are you willing to deliver Santa's toys to all the girls and boys, preserving their hopes and joys?" I only agreed to that because I messed things up," moaned Bob. "Actually, I didn't mess anything up. Actually, it was an accident. But I stepped up after the accident to make things right. I delivered the presents. So I'm done. You have to take me back to Germany. My unit is missing me. They probably think I went AWOL to cozy up to some Fraulein on Christmas Eve. This will probably ruin my career!" Bob," said the old elf patiently. "You have a new career." You called me Bob!" said Bob, triumphantly. "You called me Bob. I'm not Santa. I'm Bob. You called me Bob, Gobby!" Gobby?" The elf's face drew up as if he'd taken a mouthful of alum."Your name is unpronounceable," said Bob. "All elf names are unpronounceable." Then call me Micky," said the elf. "But don't turn my name to crap. It makes it sound like you're prejudiced against elves." Sorry. It wasn't intentional. Surely you can.
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