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But as those projects started to come to there completion,the drudgery of it all came into being. Her mind started to wander to those dark places she loathed to visit. Destinations better left off the itinerary. The plains of depression, wind swept and cold. The mountains of self shame with its burning peaks of introspection and desolate valleys of inadequacy. The mire of regret, a fetid, rotting bog of presumed failures and missteps. No those places are better off left untread. That won't do. The gloom that seeps into her prison from the outside world is more than enough.In normal times an escape is easily arranged. A munch, play party, or a privet scene would lead her to better places. But those are not here now. Vanished, they had been exiled. It is simply not safe. It's not worth the risk, Not for a brief moment of excitement. Too many people she cares about would be put in harms way. This virus is noting to take lightly. It kills. Not everyone, some will barely know they have. But he just smiled. "Having fun are we dear?" He asked as he let out a little giggle."Erm how long have you been here?" I replied."I just got in" he said. Surely he was lying. He must have heard me screaming another man's name Surely? Either way he never mentioned it. We made our way downstairs and spent the evening watching movies all the while I'm thinking about Marlon. I couldn't help myself. I wanted him to take me. I had never had such slutty thoughts. In fact I had never wanted to be a slut. But I did now. I wanted Marlon to own me and make me his personal little slut. I didn't want any care or affection, I didn't want him to hug me or show me any emotion. I wanted him to ruin me. I needed to be used. Just to let him fill me anywhere anytime he liked. I was his and he didn't even know it yet.I had to think of a way to make this work. I loved Mike and would never want to hurt him So didn't want to cheat. I remember some porn I had watched years before where a husband was forced.
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