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’ I smiled. ‘That suggests she’d be open to the idea of going out with me.’ ‘I don’t know. Why didn’t you just tell her that morning how you felt, if things had changed for you.’ ‘She was too busy giving me the brush off, and I was too scared.’ ‘I repeat, you’re an idiot. She’s amazing. If I was straight I’d date her, and you just wanted a quick roll in the hay. It’s kind of just desserts.’ I found enough pride to defend myself. ‘It was not a ‘quick’ roll.’ ‘I know,’ he said with a wink, walking off and leaving me wondering quite how much Tess had told him. * * * * * * I was actually shaking as I rang her doorbell, carrying a bunch of flowers and feeling like a complete idiot, much as Charlie had repeatedly accused me of being. I hadn’t felt this nervous going to see a woman since I was about 17 and trying to woo my first girlfriend. In fact, my only girlfriend so far. When we broke up a couple of years later because I wanted to play the field I found the field was far too much fun. However positive she tried to be, he was unwilling or unable to buoy himself up. He inhaled her love, encouragement, humor—everything!—and always looked at her with starving eyes. Naturally, that is also the essence of small children. They suck the marrow from parents’ bones. Still, this was par for the course, and women come with the standard equipment to survive this kind of thing. I wondered why she wanted kids at her advanced age when the exertion of washing a dish or taking out a bag of trash was a challenge to her. Some of us discussed what to do about her, and it was decided, based on the CEO’s policy and on her demonstrated ability to pull it together after a time, that this kid had to go it alone for a while. We saw that her friends were loyal and indulgent, and Paul was faithful and loved the kids. There was one glitch coming for my girl, and it was her health. She was going to have a chronic illness resurfacing after she turned 45, so we kept her case in the pending file.
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