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“So, what would?” I asked.“You could. Spank my butt and make me squeal like a pig. I miss that.” Now she sounds a little wistful.“I thought you were the one that wanted two at a time. One in each hole, and get it on.”“That didn’t work out so well.” She tells me.“I really don’t care to hear the dirty details.” I said. “But…did you really try that?”“Yes. I won’t tell you the who part, but I will tell you that it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I got fucked in both holes at once, and I’ve had better sex with my fingers. They just fucked me and left me, no frills, NO after play, and not much foreplay. I won’t make that mistake again.” (She later married one of the guys that double teamed her, years afterward.)“So, why are you calling me?” I asked. “I won’t do a double team, and I found a new girl that gives blow-jobs. All the way.”“Oh.” Now she really sounds wistful. “Does she like to be tied up? Or spanked? Is there anything you miss that we used to do?”Actually, there were a few. Santa was just thinking about whether or not he was going to put you on his naughty list or nice list. Santa was having trouble deciding. But you're right, it's time for me to pick one and stay with it. And so, Paul is now on Santa's permanent who's been naughty list. It comes with benefits Santa's not at liberty to disclose, but it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to get some extra fire insurance, if you catch my snow drift. Hey, don't blame me. It wasn't my idea, it was Santa's. Is that third person enough for you?" Our next letter comes from George in Florida. "Dear Santa, is the story of Rudolph true?" "Well George, to answer your question, yes and no. There was indeed a reindeer named Rudolph, but the story is not quite the one everyone has heard all these years. In fact, Rudolph, now retired, just saw a movie about himself with his children and his grandkids. While his family seemed to enjoy it, Rudolph was becoming agitated and finally couldn't take it anymore and switched off.
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