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I must say that having Holly with me all the time has been like a second honeymoon for us. Every day I learn that her quiet competence is something that I probably should have been leaning on even more heavily. Holly is gentle, sweet and kind; yet she can manage in just a few words to make sure that I know that I've been an ass. The most amazing thing is that she manages to do that in a way that is witty and disarming. If I thought that I was in love with Holly before this mission started I know I was wrong. I don't know what it will do to the rest of the family that we're getting so close, but it is a concern. One that I have to be aware of, for I wouldn't want to gain what I have with Holly yet lose my first love, Marissa.Holly's sitting on my lap as I write this and she says we won't forget Marissa, and we won't let our closeness get in the way of the family. Yet as I look at her I do wonder. For a great many years the expectation that I had was that I'd grow up and marry someone. Edwards was pouring on me. Theman had just lit my cigarette. Would he have done that for a teenageboy? I didn't think he would. But Mr. Edwards didn't see me as a boy.He saw me as a woman and a lady and I liked being seen that way.His eyes followed my hands as I brought my cigarette to my lips. Was hethinking about what it would be like to kiss me? Wouldn't that be funnybecause I was definitely wondering what it would be like to kiss him, andnow it turns out he isn't married.As far as looks were concerned, Mr. Edwards paled in comparison to TimMoreland. Tim was at least 2 or 3 inches taller and 30 pounds lighterthan Mr. Edwards. Besides that, Mr. Edwards was going bald and woreglasses. But none of that mattered to me because I had always seensomething more in him than just his looks.The man had been my guidance counselor for nearly three years. Granted Inever made much use of him as a counselor but when I had, he'd alwaysbeen nice to me. Beside that, I wasn't the only one.
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