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I set up an automated pay plan to have yard work done, so that the neighbours couldn't complain. And then I shut myself off from the world.It took the best part of two months for people to finally piss off. My sisters kept up longer, but I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to talk on the phone. If I had to leave the house I'd try to doit at night, when I wasn't likely to run into a neighbour. Most of the time I just laid on the bed and stared sightlessly at the ceiling. I stayed in the basement because going upstairs to the bedrooms,which remained as my family had left them, overwhelmed me.I existed in a nether-world between life and death. I knew I had to move one way or the other - to get busy living, or get busy dying. I was leaning strongly toward the latter.So I began to 'get my affairs in order.' I'd always been a packrat, so I started with my own junk, throwing away valueless things like love letters I'd received in high school, a subway ticket from ajourney on the Paris. ‘Yes, you’re quite right or course, he always …’, she continued, and I blocked her out, reduced her rambling to white noise in the back of my mind. It didn’t help much, still annoying. I wonder if there was a way to tell her about the cheese without being inapropriate. Certainly not while I’m supposedly listening to her ramble. Ah, it’s coming to an end. Now to finish it off with a vague response. ‘Yes, he will be missed.’ It would be so funny if she asked me if I knew his name. So she goes on to bother the next person, with presumably the identical story. Not that I know what it is or anything. The ham looks good. Another approach as I was going to get some ham. A man this time. ‘Hey, you’re Lucy’s boyfriend, right?’ Lucy is my girlfriend. She doesn’t bother me. I like that. ‘Yes, that’s me.’ I wonder who this guy is. ‘Quite a girl that one, quite a girl.’, he went on, with an odd smile. A bit lecherous, I wonder if he’s a relative. Lucy will get a kick out of this. I guess I should.
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