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I wanted to be strong and be mad at him for this, but sympathy and blame took over me.“I guess it’s my fault… ” I said.“Why?” he asked.I took a deep breath, “Because I caused us to kiss. I caused us to have sex. I caused everything. I brought the hurt on myself.”He quickly responded, “No… Lydia, don’t blame yourself. It was wrong of me to go against what you wanted, and I will never again do so. If there is any way I can make it up to you…”I cut him off, “Kiss me.” His words made me melt inside. It was what I needed to hear after so long and all I wanted was his lips.He paused for a moment and leaned toward me.I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t kissed him in months and there he waits for me. I was nervous, just like I was a long time ago. My hands started shaking.I leaned toward him, and we kissed. His warm lips burning my own. It ended, but we stayed close. Our heads were touching and our nose’s next to each other. I closed my eyes just as he did. Everything over these last few months. One morning as I was preparing to study, Dominique called and asked me to go and pick up some groceries for her. I really needed to study because I had classes the next day. I told her that I would after I finished studying. She told me that she wanted the groceries to prepare dinner. Her tone was authoritative and dominant. I was helpless because I felt a sense of inferiority in myself. I went and did the groceries right away.I returned and delivered the groceries to Dominque's home. She told me to put the groceries in the refrigerator. Again, her tone of voice removed any sense of resistance from me. When I turned around to walk away from the refrigerator, she was walking towards me. She was dressed in her robe and her long black hair was wet from taking a shower. She asked me to sit down on the sofa. I did as she asked. She looked directly into my eyes and her firm look made me feel shy and submissive. I could not hold her gaze and I turned away. It was as if all my self-esteem.
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