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That’s how I’d learned to cook for us, which I did most nights.“I had no idea you had such a hankering for that stuff. It’s not as if you’re not allowed to order it, you know. If you let me know I can make something for myself.”“It’s fine, sweetheart,” laughed Mel, as she stole a bite off my Bakewell tart. “I love your cooking, I really do. But I like a nice nigiri or a bowl of noodle soup as well, and that’s just not in your repertoire.”“I could try, if you like.”“It’s fine, really. You do so many dishes I love, you’re really spoiling us. Don’t worry about it.”And so I didn’t. I’m not a great chef, but I don’t want to be one, either. I just want to be a proficient home cook, so my loved ones won’t have to subsist on take-out. Besides, it’s something to do, isn’t it?British tearooms are the polar opposite of your average Starbucks or Costa. You’ll often find them in lopsided buildings that are so old even a short-arse like me needs to duck in doorways. The furniture will look like it. Veronica had been strapped down on the cold marble slab for fully ninety five minutes before the proceedings could begin and she was not in a good mood. This was no way to spend a weekend, no matter how rich the rewards! And then the male lead arrived and her heart turned to melted wax!Surely to Goodness! Men like this only appeared on the pages of glossy magazines, their images cunningly embellished by a combination of the photographer's art and skilful re-touching to resemble nothing that ever truly walked upon two legs, every flaw and imperfection erased and sanitised in order to present the quivering female breast with a vision of perfect masculinity in all its glory. Yet here was a man with the body of a Greek God and the head of a Viking hero, obviously flesh and blood, walking towards her with his hand extended and murmuring his apologies for his late arrival."Golly, Veronica! How can I ever apologise enough for all the bother I've caused you? When I saw your last film and was.
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