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I thought that somehow,if my dad really whipped me hard (which he never did) it would somehow"make a man out of me."In the early sixties it was still common for dads to whip their sons inworking-class neighborhoods. I remember hearing a k** down the streetreally "getting it" from his dad, on more than one occasion, who used arazor strop on his boys out in the garage. The k** once showed me hiswelts the day after a particularly brutal beating when we were both aroundtwelve. I was turned-on by this even then.Since I so craved masculine attention and didn't know how to fight, I fellvictim to bullies in junior high school. They would abuse me in the boysroom after school, making me light their cigarettes or kiss their sneakers,making me hold their dicks for them while they pissed. I thought if I justdo what they say, I won't get hurt. They would call me names while theyabused me for kicks.Although I repressed this (even now the memories are hazy and partial)these kinds of actions. "No point at all."Some of the other slaves gave her a curious glance. Amanda's eyes flitted to them, and her gaze soon found Larra's. Larra was staring at her with eyes hard and cool. Amanda returned the same look. Perhaps if Norlan did realize that punishment would have no affect on Amanda, she could stand up to Larra more often. She had little left to lose.Amanda stood up, and something silvery caught the light. She saw a single tray of food upon the table in the center of the chamber. Apparently she had not been awoken for the morning meal, but they had left her portion behind. Some of the pieces of fruit had darkened from exposure to the air, but she didn't care. Her stomach was rumbling at the sight.Amanda yawned and crossed the chamber. She had only just bit into a piece of bread when a shadow passed over her. She looked up and flinched; Larra was standing over her."What did you do last night?" Larra demanded. Her voice never rose above its usual soft cadence, but there was no.
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