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3 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?Put a nipple on it.4 Why do women fake orgasms?Because they think men care.5 If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what haveyou done wrong?Made her chain too long.6 Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probablynever be able to support you.7 Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closerto the kitchen sink.8 Why do men pass gas more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.9 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling atthe front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.10 Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...It's called a Wedding Cake.11 Why do men die before their wives?Because they want to.Send this to a few good men who need. ‘Look, Eugenia. My parents are pressuring me to marry soon. Maybe if I can find a beneficent enough suitor, I can convince his estate to donate to your family…I-I’d do it in a heartbeat…but as it stands, my parents would never allow me to simply give their money away. To charity, I mean.’ ‘I’m not a charity! I’m your friend!’ Eugenia snapped, anger and hurt burning in her face. ‘What will they notice, a few dollars missing from their spoils?’ ‘I’m sorry, Eugenia. It’s just against my principles,’ Betty said, hating herself for her own rigidity, but feeling unable to free herself from it. ‘Then I’m going to tell everyone,’ Eugenia said plainly. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Betty froze. ‘Whatever do you mean?’ She asked, her heart racing. ‘I’m gonna tell everyone about what we did.’ Betty felt faint. She wished dearly that Eugenia was talking about anything else. But she knew full well what she was referring to. She’d thought of it often. The memory came to her most.
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