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"She spoke in a rush, thoughts tumbling unfiltered from her lovely mouth. I just wanted to kiss her and listen to her all at once. I felt tears welling up, and reached into my bag for a hankie."Oh Jill!! What have I done!" the poor thing was getting upset too."It's not your fault Sarah ... it's me ... it's all down to me." You've got to tell me ... I've never seen you like this ... I don't want you to be like this." She was trying to keep her voice down because a couple of middle-aged women in silly hats were beginning to look our way. I had to buy myself some time."Let's go home, we ... we'll talk about it there, I promise." I crossed my fingers, hoping I could think up something plausible on the way.As we walked quickly back to Florian Avenue, the full and awful revelation hit me. It really was love, utter and genuine, but I could never be with the her, for more reasons than I could even begin to analyse! I found a sad solution, the lie I would tell her to excuse myself. If I was in. Now to reel him in, he thought. "I will have to fly back in time to make that meeting." Well, Benjamin, I could cover for you," Stephen offered. "I know the figures as well as you. And if you remember, I drew up the contracts we are currently using. I firmly believe I could land this contract without giving away our pensions," Stephen laughed confidently."I believe you could at that." Got him! Benjamin thought with glee. "She's pretty sharp, so you'll need to keep on your toes. I'll be glad not to have to rush home." When Benjamin hung the phone up, he just sat there. This was it. The stage was set. Now he had to come to grips with the thought that for his plan to succeed, he had to let a man have sex with him. Years of doing without the very basics can cause emotional scars that can control behaviors long past the time that every need has been met. There is still a subconscious hunger for more, always more. It was these deeply rooted fears that finally allowed Benjamin.
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