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. ) But as a child I did like the movies by Louis de Funès, a comedian who excelled in playing characters that were frantic, quick to anger and very accident prone. I must have seen his last film, ‘Le Gendarme et les Gendarmettes’, at least a dozen times. Admittedly that was not just because of Funès’s amazing angry outburst, but also because of the four very sexy female ‘Gendarmettes’. So although I may not be able to faultlessly write an entire email in French, I do have access to that language and have never avoided French films or music. And so I was confident I’d be able to make my way through this monument of a song. I’ve been on stage before. I know my limits.Like most things French the song is pompous, longwinded and fairly inaccessible. but it is a hell of an act to put on. I sang exclusively to the balcony, mostly in Anaïs’ general direction, sank to my knees at one point and then hoisted myself up on the mic stand, I leaned on the stand as if it were a crutch and took off. He has spent many hours on his appearance in order to attract a female. Like the bower birds of New Guinea his intricate dance moves are designed to baffle and confuse the female long enough to separate her from her friends and accept some refreshment from the bar. Oh dear, unfortunately, she doesn't seem to appreciate his advances and has moved on to join the relative safety of a group of females near the dance floor..."I couldn't help but crack up, but quickly turned my attention to my drink, so nobody would think I was crazy just sitting in the corner laughing to myself.There were a few cute girls around, but most looked too coiffed or too bitchy to approach. I wondered at that. Presumably, if they came without a boyfriend, they were here to dance, and perhaps meet guys. But most looked so intimidating that only the oiliest pick-up artists would attempt to vault their defenses.That's not fair. Perhaps, I was projecting too much, and perhaps they weren't here to pick up guys. Just.
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