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This kind of transient life can sometimes make one feel disconnected and secluded."You aren't able to have the long term friendships and closeness with your peers that other kids have. You move around and have to re-establish your friends and try to fit into the crowd all over again. This can eventually lead people sometimes to give up trying to make friends after awhile."The other thing I noticed is when you said your father died tragically. When a parent dies, especially suddenly and unexpectedly, it can have profound effects on a young person. These effects can be anything from deep despondency and a desire to go with them–suicide–to an almost nonchalant and even refusal to accept what has happened."Perhaps your father's death has somehow affected your ability to feel closeness and intimacy with another man and so you cannot fully enjoy sex like you should. Tell, me Judy, how old were you when your father died?" I asked her."Let's see… I think I was about fourteen at the time. Do. He said Kenya was an imaginative woman,with an understanding of the less aggressive sort of guys. I gave him aquestioning look. He explained that he meant someone like her could helpme open up and explore my feelings. That sounded sensible, in mycircumstances, so I thanked him and then forgot about it. My keyed upemotions, along with those jalapeno poppers, were giving me indigestion.I wasn't entirely happy with his plan but figured it was the best oneavailable. I told him we would try it. It was the middle of the week soI suggested Saturday night and he liked that.On the way home I thought about Mariel's idea for improving thingsbetween us, something she had brought up more than once. She sometimesmentioned spicing up our sex life by having me use my mouth on her, belowthe waist, if you know what I mean. I suppose I overreacted, becausethat has always seemed so unpalatable and unmanly to me. When I wentinto an uncharacteristic rant about not doing it, she really shut.
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