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I was halfway between Macy's and totally broke, sitting in the mall's tacky excuse for a food court, and trying to gag down a tasteless salad with low-cal dressing. Piped-in Christmas carols competed with the noise of wall-to-wall shoppers. I kept asking myself how I ever let my mother con me into getting dressed and driving into town with her the day after Thanksgiving, the busiest shopping day of the year.I'm usually the slow shopper, but somehow I'd finished before she did. This upheaval in the natural order didn't seem to faze her."Now aren't you glad you came along?"I conceded the point with a weary nod. You see, my mother is always right. Not sometimes or most of the time, but always. Trust me.She checked her watch. "Why don't you wait for me in the food court, honey? I'll only be a few more minutes."Our shop-a-thon had cost me more than just maxed out credit cards. My back ached, my feet throbbed, and the rest of me felt tired, bloated, and crappy. To be fair, all that started. To my great relief the toilet flushed and filled with clean water. I carefully placed the holder on the floor and headed back to the urinal area. The second foot out and all the way down was not as dirty as that first foot had been. But there was still a fair amount of dirt and grit that I had picked up. After fiddling around I finally managed to get the toilet to flush again. The third foot went very quickly, there was almost no grit, mostly discoloration and blood from my knees. The forth, fifth and sixth rows were the same. I flushed the toilet again after the fourth row and then after the sixth. I used that fresh water to give my mouth a good cleaning as well. I replaced the paper holder on the dispenser, then went back and knelt by my clean floor waiting or Dickie's return. I was certain he had been gone a lot longer than an hour.I was also sure cleaning a piece of floor the size of the one that I had just done, with just your tongue could not be accomplished in just an hour. But.
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