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Barrys jaw dropped open and he stared at his wife in dismay. Four men, he repeated, his mind tormented with wretched jealousy. What were you doing the whole time? he managed to stammer out. Sophie giggled in her oh so happy, and so tipsy state, Dont be silly sweetheart, she answered, reaching up and pulling her husband closer to plant a kiss on his cheek, What do you think happened? Barry groaned as if in pain. And on our wedding anniversary of all nights, he moaned. That was the idea darling. She giggled. Sophies adulterous affairs really took off after that. She went out frequently to be fucked by one or more of those four men. Sometimes they would even phone her, and she would have conversations with them within her husbands hearing. Hello darling, he would hear his wife saying when she heard who it was on the phone. Oooh, yes, and lots of giggling from his wife would have him seething with jealousy at what he imagined they were talking about. Once he heard her saying, Oh yes, hes. No secrets, no shame, no masks or half-truths. There was nothing that we could not explore, as long as we explored it together. After every session I always came away with a feeling of exhilaration, and a deeper understanding. The decision to separate was mine, and mine alone. It was an extremely hard decision, taken for entirely selfish reasons, when faced with a loss that I could not bear to contemplate – the loss of my children’s love and respect. In parting, I was not the least bit fair to her. I can still feel the pain that I caused her, and it gives me great pain as well. I now understand better why I made the choices that I did. I will never know whether there could have been a different way. I do know that after years of effort, the results are as I had hoped. Could I have done things differently? Perhaps. And maybe I would also somehow have emerged intact on the other side of the nightmare that I faced – different from today, but still whole. No one can ever really know ‘the.
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