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I didn't hesitate, didn't think about it, didn'tponder the ramifications or anything else, I just said it. "As often aspossible I guess." Then I realized what I had said, and tried to retractsome of it. "What I mean is, not all the time mom, just once in awhile...once in a great while."While neither mom or Claire said anything, but I knew that I had onceagain put my foot in it big time, and there wasn't any way to deny whatI had said. Just then Claire simply told me to use anything of hers thatI wanted, and that I should consider moving into her bedroom. She was inthe Marines, and wouldn't be home very often she said, so I might aswell. Then she added that if she needed anything, we could mail it toher. I kept my mouth shut, but moving into Claire's room would solve alot of problems for me. Mom didn't say anything, but I saw that veryfamiliar gleam in her eye."I think" mom said, "that having you move into Claire's room is anexcellent idea! I'll turn your room into my sewing room!. I didn't lust after every one I saw, but certain types captured my eye and my heart. In Kansas, I'd been fond of two young teachers in their twenties — one was an assistant coach, the other taught Chemistry — and both had fueled my masturbatory fantasies.It was more emotional than physical. I didn't lust after a particular shape or size of breast or buttocks like the boys often do; I cared more for their attitude and personality than anything else. An aura of confidence and femininity helped, as did any personal success.I wondered what they smelled like, how it would feel to kiss them or touch them, and whether —miracle of miracles — they would return my feelings. I'd had several female friends, but none close enough or for long enough to bridge the intimacy gap and initiate anything. I was afraid, too, of being labeled a lesbian or worse; if a person my age didn't fit into some group or other, it got awfully lonely.Some of the more mature younger ones caught my attention as well,.
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