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"The Shawn I know could talk the ear off anyone I know." Actually, I am an evil space alien sent here to scout out your planet in advance of our invasion force, which is currently stationed outside the orbit of the planet you call Jupiter." "Hah. Hah. Very funny." No, really. Do you want to see my atomic death ray pistol?" For crying out loud. Get serious will you."I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts before continuing, "I've just had a lot on my mind lately Jake." Like what." I'm not sure I should talk about it." Why not?" It's very personal." Listen Shawn. We've been friends for years and have talked about all sorts of things, personal and non-personal. I hope you know you can trust me with anything." I do Jake, but this is different. At least it is to me." How so?" Jake asked."It just is, Jake." You're not dying are you?" No, it's nothing like that although it is serious." It's not your parents or Terri is it?" Nope," I responded."What is it then?" Jake asked in. Oh, you weren’t going to.’ Again, with a smile. I’d have to be on my toes, I could tell. I took a mug of brown liquid. ‘I’m Steve,’ I said. ‘Nice to meet you, Laura. Are you in the habit of inviting strange men into your flat?’‘Oh, I don’t think you’re that strange. Intriguing perhaps. Biscuit?’I took a digestive. ‘But I could be an axe murderer.’‘You’re not a murderer. And that isn’t an axe. Can I have a look?’I handed her the slipper. She hefted it in her hand, flexed it. ‘It’s pretty heavy. And big. What size do you think it is?’‘At least a 12. I’ve no idea how old it is. I found it at Paddy’s Market. Woman selling it asked the same question as you, is it for a one-legged uncle. I told her what I told you and she told me she’d used it for the past 15 years, to give her kids what she called a skelpit leatherin.’Laura smiled. ‘I haven’t heard that term in a while. My mum used to say it. I know what it means though.’ Then she held the slipper behind her, across the rounded back of.
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