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Rita, who’d always been artistic, painted a mural of zoo animals on one wall. We assembled the crib with Brian’s power tools, and it was nice doing it ourselves.As we planned for Bean, we also planned for Rita’s wedding, which would take place approximately three months after Bean would be born. Rita made Addie and me go check out venues with her and Brian. As we visited venue after venue, the rustic ones and the glam ones and the elegant ones, I realized how this might’ve been something that Wes would have wanted: happily ever after.And I’d gone and broken his fucking heart.I still remembered the look on his face, as if I’d kicked him in the soul. The pain in his eyes had been immeasurable, an ocean of grief, swallowing me, drowning me. And sometimes ... sometimes it got hard and I wanted to give in, wanted to drown.But I had Bean.She was the light at the end of the tunnel, my reason for living. I thought of her, this little girl, so innocent, so helpless, so... mine. Never, not. I respected that and, since our coupling was very enjoyable, I agreed to sponsor her. Perhaps, in time, she might come to feel something for me.When I returned to Harvard’s companion selection center later that afternoon, I was told that two of the four women I was supposed to be meeting were sisters who just happened to be at a local pizza joint last night and were caught up in a pick-up. Since I hadn’t officially promised to take them, they went ahead and signed on with another sponsor with open slots to fill. I gathered that one of the companions who hadn’t been picked must have been there and informed the University, of their departure.I was a bit disappointed, but I really couldn’t blame the ladies for going after a sure thing --even though I probably would have taken them myself had they only waited. Luckily, my other two appointments ended in me signing up Lavern Scott and Jodi Simmons to my crew.After a couple of exhausting, yet very pleasurable, interviews, I decided to.
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