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Too determined to have my own way. Some of those single-minded traits helped in forging my career – but they were hugely destructive in my personal life. By the time I came to my senses, it was too late. I knew I’d committed the biggest mistake of my life but I had to live with it and carry on the best I could. I had nobody to blame. I had made my own bed and had to lie in it. And now . . . Gaynor’s words, 32 years after I turned my back on her, confirmed my worst fears. Not only did I spite myself – but I devastated a beautiful, caring young woman. So much so, that she refused to fall in love again. She couldn’t face the prospect of another heartache, another loss, another traumatic episode. Well done, Richard, you bastard. So, what now? My eyes fixed on Gaynor’s words and found that, somehow, they were amazingly kind. Yes, she referred to ‘rock bottom . . . a horrible day . . . pain and heartache.’ But there was no accusation, no finger-pointing, no recriminations. Just a bold,. Wore a gajra on her hairs. The room smelled of jasmine which was driving me all crazy. As she looked at me I went and sat close to her.“Raj!” I told my name.“Rosy!” she said as we both shook hands.I then lied on the bed as she came on my side with one of her legs in between my leg and her hand caressing my chest exposing from the top three unbuttoned shirt that I wore.“Teri madam ne to poora nasha hi utar diya!” I said holind her in my arms with my hand on her naked waist.“Koi baat nahi! Main wapas chadha deti hoon!” she said as she got up and took a wine bottle from the other side. I got up a bit and she put the bottle in my mouth feeding me the alcohol with her hands as if feeding milk to a baby through a bottle. I gulped down some of that wine and it was a desi daaru. Tasted really heavy. Just one large gulp was enough to spin your head around. She then herself gulped down the alcohol and kept the bottle aside.Then she pushed me back to the bed and came into my arms. Looked like.
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