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Instead this happy event had grown into some kind of nightmare. His teacher now knew he was a crossdresser; his uncle's girlfriend had hurt him deeply with her words; and now this caring, understanding lady was about to find out the truth about him. He wasn't okay at all. Jeff wanted to end his life...he was sick of living in pain and fear and doubt. He was tired of not having anyone care about him. He was tired of trying to play the hand that life had dealt him. He was tired of trying. The boy knew there would be a train coming by in the next hour or so. All he had to do was stand on the tracks, close his eyes, and in a few seconds it would all be over. At least he would die dressed the way he always wanted to be."I want to help you son," she told him gently. "But you have to tell me how."'Oh God, she knows.'Jeff reached to unlock the door but a hand grabbed his and in a firm but gentle manner pulled it away."Please don't try to leave sweetheart," she said in a cool, comforting. I didn't have a clue what to say.Mr. Hayes was smooth. "Good morning, Miss Harmon. To what do I owe the pleasure? You've never been early to my class."Missy brushed the tear off her cheek. "I came for the same reason John did. I wanted to know why Sonnet 91. I was sure it was John who picked it out. He took four pages to write what Shakespeare wrote in those few lines."Mr. Hayes smiled. "Old Willie sure had a way with words, didn't he?"I readily agreed and turned to take Jackie's seat. "Not today, Mr. Robinson," Mr. Hayes said. "You two disrupted my lesson yesterday, but no more. If you have a problem, solve it outside my classroom. Okay?"I shrugged and turned back toward my regular seat. "Thanks, Mr. Hayes." Thank you, Mr. Hayes," Missy echoed. "We won't disrupt your class any more."I watched as she sat down beside me."Can we talk later, John?" Missy asked. "At lunch, perhaps?" I've been eating out by the oak tree," I replied.She nodded and the bell rang."I should hate you, John,".
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